That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
