Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
