just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
