I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize