I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
