She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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