What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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