Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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