Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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