and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Shame is for Republicans.
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