Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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