That's when you crack a 10am beer
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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