he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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