I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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