Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
