I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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