I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
