I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
