I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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