I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
