You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Buhtt sex?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
