I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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