Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
