UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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