Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize