dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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