Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
