anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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