I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
