The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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