So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
