i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
