Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize