The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
