That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think i got beer on your cat.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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