You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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