$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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