god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
