Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
