i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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