She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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