you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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