I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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