I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
