My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
