I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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