Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
