Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
