I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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