im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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