she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
