Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
