he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
