Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
