Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
