i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
