I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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