dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
