you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize