Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
