Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
