evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
