I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
