You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
