Duck Duck Cougar?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
